Call Your Grandma

During this period of quarantine + social distancing, my friends and I have discussed frequently how some of the things we’ve been doing to pass the time are things that we could’ve (read: should’ve) been doing all along. 

Walking around your neighborhood; putting a puzzle together on a Sunday night; reading a book instead of Netflix; but also catching up on lots of Netflix; morning coffee in bed (relaxing, for once); games (board, video, card, virtual, you name it); FaceTiming our college/high school friends; drinking a glass of wine via video chat with old pals; running outside & working out at home; calling up people you don’t chat with on a normal basis.

For me, this last point hit home when I called my grandparents last week in the middle of the afternoon. Frankly, I should’ve called them more in general prior to this, but in what other circumstances would I find the free time to make a spur-of-the-moment personal call during the work day? 

We chatted for almost 30 minutes. The things my grandma talks about are mundane to the unfamiliar ear, but I know that these seemingly little activities and tasks and observations and stories are what my grandparents live for these days, in the best way possible. I have never understood or appreciated these little snippets of daily life that she speaks of more than I do now. Some of these day-to-day realities are a direct result of COVID-19, but she describes it all as a level-headed realist, with grace and unwavering positivity.

She chats about my grandpa’s altered coffee-in-town schedule, how the grocery store downtown is still open but when Grandpa goes it’s so early that no one else is there so yes, don’t worry, it’s safe. She notes that her & my grandpa are on their 8th puzzle (that week only, nonetheless!!), and that she is reading a book about North Dakota and Native Americans. The library where she works is closed. The church they attend - where my 88-year-old grandfather has attended since he was born - is closed. Their favorite restaurant in town is closed. They cannot visit friends in nursing homes, or in their own homes.

She notes that what we are experiencing right now reminds her of living through WWII. The communal feeling of uncertainty and fear. The media frenzy. The food & supply shortages; empty shelves at the store. This was disconcerting to hear, and I honestly still don't think I've fully wrapped my head around such a grim juxtaposition.

She says that the afternoon’s task would be to clean the Christmas dishes. “My cabinets haven’t been this clean in 20 years!” she laughs. Which is saying something, because her cabinets are always clean. She tells me that this will be the highlight of her day.

A few days later, on Sunday, I found myself actively looking for joy in the little things also. Sleeping in. Waking up actually well-rested, with the sun high in the sky & streaming through my bedroom window. A virtual HIIT class with one of my favorite instructors. Using the new vacuum I’d ordered on Amazon for the first time - and yes, even cleaning (Grandma would be proud).

And during this day of gratitude and little joys, I thought about how this is how we will make it through these trying times mentally & emotionally intact. That is: actively looking for the joy in every little thing, mundane is they may initially seem. When you're in your early/mid 20's living in a cool city spending weekends doing fun things with friends...it's easy to overlook these little things, because you're too busy focusing on the ski days and concerts and weekend trips and afternoons at your favorite brewery. But when those norms - those "big" things that make up your lifestyle - are taken out of the picture, you're left with the little things.

Go to bed each night looking forward to drinking coffee in your favorite mug the next morning. Looking forward to the egg sandwich you’re going to make for lunch. Looking forward to tidying your space, picking up an old hobby, catching up with a loved one, refocusing on your fitness, finally finishing that book(s), trying a new bottle of wine. Ordering $130 worth of food from a local pizza place, which is what my roommates & I just did. Cleaning your Christmas dishes, if you have them. 

Stay safe & healthy, friends. And call your grandma. 

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I want to emphasize that this mentality comes from an inherent place of privilege. As absolutely important as mental health is, to worry about one’s happiness and livelihood during the COVID-19 era, when others are forcibly concerned with their safety and health and well-being and finances and food on the table — that is the very definition of privilege. I do not take that privilege lightly; this is just a positive message that hopefully alludes to how we can all strive for mental stability & hope at this time.

P.S. For your viewing pleasure: